...my journey through the valleys and over the mountains as i learn to live with the 'new' reality of losing xavier ian. this is a place i can jot down thoughts, feelings, and things i am learning through this journey of life.

if my dreams came true...

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

since the nightmare began...

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Sunday, June 19, 2011

father's day...

two years ago today we held a memorial service to say good-bye to xavier ian.
today i remember two years ago, but i don't think anyone else does. i'm beginning to think that each year gets harder rather than easier. i've cried a lot this month. i've felt very alone this month. i'm definitely having a hard time functioning this month. i'm not so naive as to believe that it will suddenly get better when this month is over because i know it won't. in real life things don't magically get better and there are no happily ever afters. in real life there is just struggling and more struggling day after day after day, etc.
two years ago today there was a table set up with pictures and people remembered xavier with me. today i remember him alone.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

giveaway winner...

tiffany, mattie, & holly

since only three of you entered and three is my favorite number i'm going to do a drawing for each of you. i have sent e-mail to each of you...so i'll be waiting to hear back from you! congratulations.

remembering xavier ian swords today...june 4, 2009! never forgotten.