...my journey through the valleys and over the mountains as i learn to live with the 'new' reality of losing xavier ian. this is a place i can jot down thoughts, feelings, and things i am learning through this journey of life.

if my dreams came true...

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

since the nightmare began...

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Friday, June 4, 2010

God is good...

i have an amazing pastor or rather i should say that God works through him in amazing ways. over the past year he has delivered quite a few sermons that spoke directly to me. i have been e-mailing my pastor (poor guy, he learns things about me in e-mails that he would probably rather not know) and occasionally he e-mails back. he usually prays and sometimes includes bible verses when he returns my e-mails...i wanted to share some of them with you all because they have really been comforting to me. i hope you can find comfort in them too.

Romans 8 (i'll highlight bits and pieces)
{15-17} For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, "Abba! Father!" The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him.
{18} For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
{24-25} For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for waht he already sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.
{26-27} In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, becasuse He intercedes for the saints accoring to the will of God.
{28} And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
{38-39} For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separeate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

2 Corinthians 10:5-6
We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, and we are ready to punish all disobedience, whenever your obedience is complete.

Ephesians 3:14-19
For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that He would grant you , according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.

anyway, it's officially been one year since xavier was born too soon.
i am alive.
i will survive.
it said so in a book.
i'll just continue to put one foot in front of the other and when i don't have the strength to continue on God will carry me...He is an amazing Father! i have felt His peace and comfort and love so many days over the past year. i have grown closer to Him through losing xavier...how sad [that i had to lose a child to grow closer to God].


  1. Michelle you have been in my thought frequently this week. Keeping you in my prayers. Thanks for sharing those verses, they are encouraging me also. <3 Xavier <3

  2. I'm so sorry for your loss! I lost my daughter, Lily Katherine, on March 16th of this year. She was born still at full term. I'm glad you have your faith to get you through! I am a Christian as well and I don't know where I'd be without the beautiful grace of God!! :)