...my journey through the valleys and over the mountains as i learn to live with the 'new' reality of losing xavier ian. this is a place i can jot down thoughts, feelings, and things i am learning through this journey of life.

if my dreams came true...

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

since the nightmare began...

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

wedding band...

i recently started wearing my engagement ring & wedding band again. i also wear a dragonfly ring and one more ring depending on my mood. there were a few weeks i was only wearing my wedding band. i didn't take it off ever.

there were a few weeks that i wore my rings until bedtime at work and then took them off, not putting them back on til i returned to work the next day.

anyway, back to the point of this entry. i started meeting with an accountability partner through my church (leesburg grace brethren) for a purity covenant that i signed over the summer. i realized that i was so angry with my husband for a time that i quit wearing my rings altogether. i started wearing the wedding band again and i didn't take it off for weeks. just recently i started wearing all my rings again. it's amazing what a small piece of metal with a few gemstones signifies in my mind, maybe in all our minds. when i felt like i was doing something right and i was encouraging people it became important to me to wear my wedding rings all the time again.

my marriage is definitely difficult right now, but i'm not willing to give up. i'm hopeful and i believe that God is working in our marriage or at least in me :) my accountability partner told me that she is encouraged by me not giving up on my marriage through all the trials we've been through the past three years. anyone else want to share about marriage troubles after a loss?

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