it's like i am standing still in the water up to my chest, but the water is moving all around me. so i kind of sway with the water. i am not choosing to move, but i am also not stopping the movement...that would take too much energy. i am not moving forward or backward. i am not moving to either side. i'm anchored to my spot and swaying in the water. his due date was november 6, 2009...i do not know how i have survived two years without him (more than two years without him) and i just remain still, letting the water move me because i don't have the energy to stop the outside world from moving me...but i am just going with the flow. my motto remains: how sad.