standing still...

it's like i am standing still in the water up to my chest, but the water is moving all around me. so i kind of sway with the water. i am not choosing to move, but i am also not stopping the movement...that would take too much energy. i am not moving forward or backward. i am not moving to either side. i'm anchored to my spot and swaying in the water. his due date was november 6, 2009...i do not know how i have survived two years without him (more than two years without him) and i just remain still, letting the water move me because i don't have the energy to stop the outside world from moving me...but i am just going with the flow. my motto remains: how sad.

darkness = hopelessness

it's always harder to find hope in the darkness than in the light of day...there's just something about daylight that makes hope a possibility.

i forgot...

it's my birthday,

today.

luckily a couple of friends from work texted me to remind me. lol

i got the job...

yay me! i now have a second job. our one income family has a tiny second income...still provided by me. i am choosing to have a second job. my husband is choosing to stay home with the kids. i am choosing to miss out on my family. really? money sucks!

thank God for counseling...too bad it's only once a week!