nobody congratulates you when your baby is stillborn [and for good reason, i guess] but, that just makes it all the more tragic. not only has your baby died, but people act as though you have not just given birth to a beautiful baby; as though you are not a new mother. when you think about it, it's even more difficult to be a mother to a dead baby because there is less of a support system immediately available to you. most of us have to search out a new support system and may even lose someone from our previous support system. all that said, there was one woman who had a stillborn daughter years before me that congratulated me on the birth of xavier a few months after his stillbirth. i shared pictures and she looked at them and commented how beautiful he was. she recognized that i was a new mother; i had given birth; my baby was beautiful and she congratulated me.
i cried tears of joy, possibly the first tears of joy since i lost xavier that day.
thank you lari.
