...my journey through the valleys and over the mountains as i learn to live with the 'new' reality of losing xavier ian. this is a place i can jot down thoughts, feelings, and things i am learning through this journey of life.

if my dreams came true...

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

since the nightmare began...

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

finally feeling a bit of joy...

so, a month and a half after starting meds i'm feeling quite a bit better. i'm even able to be joyful about some things. as christmas draws near i'm choosing to be happy. i'm going to biblical counseling which has also helped immensely with my mood. my relationship with God is better too.

i'm not blogging as much. i'm still reading blogs, but i am finding that i'm just not needing as much online support these days. it's still nice to have all of my online blm friends on facebook and be able to cry with each other or laugh with each other or pray for each other, but i just wanted to let anyone who has been reading my blog know that my posts are going to be more sporadic for awhile until my life becomes a little less busy. while i'm not feeling nearly as overwhelmed lately i am feeling like my life is very full of things...some that help me feel better, some that teach me lessons, and some that seem to just be roadblocks to where i want to be.

i'm allowing myself to be creative. i'm getting to know myself again. i'm starting to live in this 'new normal' and i think things are going to be okay. in fact, i know things are going to be alright because i've got some great support online, in real life, and of course God will still carry me when i don't have the strength to stand. things are looking up just in time for christmas.


  1. So glad things are going better for you Michelle:) Merry Christmas!! Xavier <3

  2. I'm happy to hear that! I can't wait to see you all for Christmas (and especially Jordan and Chrissy- it's been way too long since they've seen us).

  3. Michele, contact me as you won the collage giveaway :) Congrats!!