i told a friend that i was journaling and writing poetry.
the friend said, 'great...that means you're thinking about stuff you shouldn't be thinking about."
what exactly am i not suppose to be thinking about? how can some people be so insensitive; have such a lack of empathy?! the thing that hurts the most is this is someone i am/was (i'm just not sure at this point) really close to and they feel this way.
writing is a way to get the jumbled thoughts out of my head! writing helps to clear my mind! writing helps me to feel better! i still think about xavier ian everyday. it's not debilitating; i'm not depressed; i just think about him a lot. i don't think there is anything wrong with this, in fact i think it's pretty normal. i've talked with others that have lost a baby and even ten, twenty, thirty years down the road they think about their lost child on a daily basis. at some point you are no longer grieving...the loss just becomes a part of who you are. i don't know if i'm to that point yet, but i'm definitely getting there...without the help of this so called friend i regret to say.