...my journey through the valleys and over the mountains as i learn to live with the 'new' reality of losing xavier ian. this is a place i can jot down thoughts, feelings, and things i am learning through this journey of life.

if my dreams came true...

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

since the nightmare began...

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

butterfly mommies: support for mothers of loss...

Butterfly Mommies

in the beginning i read books and journaled. then i began blogging and met other babylost mamas online. i also attend a support group that meets once a month.

i think the best way to support a grieving mother is to help with all of the day to day things so that she doesn't have to deal with them (cooking meals, driving the other children places, making sure she has time to spend alone with her husband, etc.). talking about the baby, using the baby's name. hearing your baby's name is so amazing because it validates that there was a baby and somebody else remembers. i've found pictures or artwork that other's have made with xavier's name to be very healing. give a grieving mother lots of cards, not just one right after the baby dies, but every so often when you are thinking of her send her a card snail mail or jot her a quick e-mail. mention the baby by name, i know i already said this, but it is so important (she probably wants to talk about her baby)!

i hope this is helpful to someone. *HUGS*

1 comment:

  1. Thank you so much for sharing this Michelle. I agree with you, saying my baby's names is so important. I often find myself saying it to someone who hasn't said it in a while, and it seems to make them uncomfortable. If they could only say it back in regard to the conversation, rather than changing the subject! Wouldn't that make so much difference?