...my journey through the valleys and over the mountains as i learn to live with the 'new' reality of losing xavier ian. this is a place i can jot down thoughts, feelings, and things i am learning through this journey of life.

if my dreams came true...

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

since the nightmare began...

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Thursday, February 4, 2010

january meeting of meet you at the sunset...

so, the questions have been asked, "how did i cope with the holidays? what was the holiday season like for you? did you do anything special in xavier's memory?"

the holidays were very somber. i was very anxious going into christmas, but it wasn't nearly as hard as i thought it would be. i guess we do tend to think the worst of any situation, right? i shared some artwork, with my family, that i had done a couple of months after losing xavier ian (my world 8.20.9), then four months after losing xavier ian to see how far i had come and (my world 10.10.9) how raw it still was for me (my world is devastation). i felt very alone! i was expecting that though.

i didn't really do anything in xavier's memory. my mom bought him an ornament that said baby's 1st christmas and a friend from a support group i attend bought us each an ornament...an angel that is holding a heart and has hope written near the base. i put the ornaments on the shelf with xavier's footprints & handprint. i cried a lot.


  1. I am so sorry you had a tough time throughout the holiday season. Have you thought about submitting your artwork to Still Life 365? If you haven't heard of it you should check it out.



  2. i have heard of the site. i've been thinking about sending in some of my artwork or poetry. thank you for mentioning it jill.

  3. I agree with Jill. You should definitely share your artwork on Still Life with others who walk this road.