so, the questions have been asked, "how did i cope with the holidays? what was the holiday season like for you? did you do anything special in xavier's memory?"
the holidays were very somber. i was very anxious going into christmas, but it wasn't nearly as hard as i thought it would be. i guess we do tend to think the worst of any situation, right? i shared some artwork, with my family, that i had done a couple of months after losing xavier ian (my world 8.20.9), then four months after losing xavier ian to see how far i had come and (my world 10.10.9) how raw it still was for me (my world is devastation). i felt very alone! i was expecting that though.
i didn't really do anything in xavier's memory. my mom bought him an ornament that said baby's 1st christmas and a friend from a support group i attend bought us each an ornament...an angel that is holding a heart and has hope written near the base. i put the ornaments on the shelf with xavier's footprints & handprint. i cried a lot.